Friday March 26
Pretend You're Not Gay Day
On March 26, 1973 Noel Coward left for the great gay bar in the sky. So today you should be "Cowardly" and pretend to be straight in order to honor Noel, the world's most famous Coward.

In the 40's Noel was the world's most witty and urbane actor-playwright-composer-novelist-British spy. Coward that he was, Noel stayed in the closet is whole life. Of course, at times he did kick a naked limb out of the closet door, although he never publicly admitted his homosexuality, wryly stating, "There is still a woman in Paddington Square who wants to marry me, and I don't want to disappoint her."

So butch it up. But you can still read scenes from Coward's plays such as "Blythe Spirit" or "This Happy Breed". Sing some of this witty ditties. And pretend this is how straight people party.
Dress: Tux (with long cigarette holder)
Drink: Champagne
Party Kit: Closet Conversion Kit
Jukebox: Coward's Bravest Hits

Toughing It Out
Toughing it out is what most people would consider a last resort. While at the same time, this is the method most employeed especially by party-traineees.

We believe that the only time to tough it out is when you have no choice.

If you choose to believe that when your stomach and head get tough, go ahead, but remember that we warned you.

Saturday March 27
Pulp Fiction Party
In 1963, writer-director-sickpuppy Quentin Tarantino was born. So let's party to his Cannes Film Festival Winner
Manditory: play the DVD
Not Manditory: You don't need to restage the Vin Rhymes & the loving Redneck scene in your backroom... not unless you think it is important to stay true to Quentin's concept
Dress: Like any of the characters
Contest: Jack Rabbit Slim's Twisted Dance Contest
Drink: 5 dollar shake — with your own ingredients
Music: From the flic, especially the twist music
• Chuck Berry "You Can Never Tell"
• Etta James "Son Of A Preacher Man"
• Kool And The Gang "Jungle Boogie
• Jerry Lee Lewis "Ces La Vie"
• Dick Dale "Miserlou" the Pulp Fiction theme
• Statler Brothers "Flowers On The Wall"

Sunday March 28
Viking Victory Party
As we all learned in Barbarian History class, March 28 is the the date in 845 when Paris was sacked by Ragnar "Hairy-Breeks" Lodbrok and his Viking raiders. Ragnar collected Danegeld of 7,000 pounds of silver not to sack the city, which is almost as much as Congress let the IGT guys get in bonuses.
Dress: Like a barbarian (see Frazetta illustrations)
Drink: Wine served in looted chalices
Grub: Barbarian buffet with plenty of meat dishes like big racks of Beef Ribs, with sides of like Brats, und Wiener Schnitzel, und German Potato Salad' But if you do do the wardog thing, don't invite Michael Vick or DMZ. but no monkey brains. Oh yeah, like big hunks of ox legs with bones big as your leg, so you you can throw 'em to the dogs to fight over.
Music: Any current or Oldschool HipHop is probably barbarian enuff for most parties. However, if you get to feelin' all classical, try some badass cuts from Wagner's Ring Cycle, and freestyle to that sht.
Decor: Frank Frazetta prints. Yeah, and large Wardogs that you can throw the bones to.
Sex: Rough with plenty of screams. Women can scream, too.
Vid: Conan the Barbarian. Or if you are more into a Wall Street brand of slaughter, Barbarians At The Gate

alternative party ideas: March 28 1907 is the Birthday of "Swifty" Lazar, a bigtime American talent agent who might inspire a "I Can Make You A Star" party. If you're more country, on March 28, 1955 Reba McEntire was born.