Friday July 3
Dancing In The Street
On July 3, 1884, Dow Jones published its 1st stock average. setting up what we now call Wall Street, which if you are richmofo is a very nice thing, and well worth a Street Dance.
Locale: A street? Maybe a street in your financial district. If you live someplace like Indiana where there are no financial districts, and not a lot of real streets, pop your moves outside Wal-Mart which has all the money, anyway.
Power Drinks: Wall Street, Bullshot, or Martini
Food: Pork Futures in a bear(naise) sauce. Sorry, we couldn't help ourselves.
Dress: Guys in a Gordon Gecko power suit worth more than your ride, but be prepared to wear your silk power tie like a dew rag to show you are not just a richkid born with a golden spoon up your nose (even if you are), but that you are real folks. Women's dresscode depends on the weather, and if we say anymore we'd be accused of being the sexist pigs we really are.
Tunes: Dancing In The Streets, 10cc's "Wall Street Shuffle", Pink Floyd's "Money", ABBA's "Money, Money, Money", Scott Joplin's "Wall Street Rag"
DVDs: Wall Street and Boiler Room

Manditory Friday Epidemic
Everybody's Sick Day!
You're not really going to work today, are you?
Hellno! Not on a Friday before a major holiday! So if you don't officially have the day off, call in your flu excuse using your "sick voice" and then hit the surf, or sand, or lake, or river, or even make a visit to a neighbor on vacation, the one with the nice big swimming pool.
Doctor's Orders: As you are officially sick, make sure you take your meds
Drink: Compatable with meds. But we have found, beer goes with anything, even those whose label says "Do Not Operate Heavy Equipment." As the equipment of most guys outtside of the porn industry is not that heavy, don't worry about it.
Food: Feed a cold and starve a fever
Sick Songs: Something from our Sicko Jukebox

Hair of the Dog
Also known as an eye-opener or "Arf before you barf."

Many professional partiers prefer an eye-opener as a weekend remedy, particularly when one has obligations such as a mid-morning tailgating party. But others worry that continual use of this method might have negative long-term consequences.

After an entire semester of research, it is the opinion of our staff of experts that the method should be used only once a week, on the Friday/Saturday turnaround.

Research by the Patton Lee Beaugus Foundation.

Saturday The 4th of July
Independence Day
Be independent. Be different. Act different.
Try to think of something that's a little more edgy than wine and cheese on a blanket with fireworks, or sappy music from our Patriotic Jukebox. It is my personal plan to get wasted and repeat the mantra, "Oh wow!" while watching the fireworks. But don't do as I do, do as I say, because you gotta be cooler than me.
Dress: Yes, for the first hot weekend of Summer, but independantly. Like wear something different, like an All-American Indian headress of feathers while painting your body red white and blue.
Music: For tradionalists, something from our Patriotic Jukebox When you get sick of all those flag-waving ditties. Then Latvian rap show tunes or something equally fresh and different.
Drink: Summer Ale, cause its summer. Or an Old Glory Hole cause it's red, white and true blue. Or if you are a REDneck in a WHITE shirt, you can drink Pabst BLUE Ribbon beer. Or if you're feeling independant, the beer at the store that you never heard of that comes in kegs shaped like urninals.
Grub: Hot Dogs, Apple Pie, and other realfckingamerican food. Or if you want to be independant, something exotic like Mongolian kitty-cat appetisers. Maybe a main course from Tiera del Fuego, or from an obscure African country whose native cooks think "monkey makes the meal."
Party Games: Speed Croquet on the beach, or spin the Keg. Or just get wasted, and repeat the mantre, "Oh, wow!" as the fireworks go off.

Sunday July 5
Bikini Fashion Show
On July 5 in 1946, the first bikini was introduced at a fashion show in Paris, France, probably because Paris, Illinois had outlawed any kind of bathing suits that did not cover the knees and elbows. Inventors French engineer Louis Réard and fashion designer Jacques Heim named their invention after Bikini Atoll, the site of a nuclear weapon test.
As this is your fashion show, you can make the rules like...
Step 1: Name yourself the designated fashion consultant and wardrobe assistant so you can help the ladies into and out of their bikinis.
Step 2: In order to qualify for the coveted position of dresser, you must be able to act like what the Governator calls a "girlyman," The appearance of being a girlyman of will allow you total access to their bodies, even to the point of gently rubbing sparkles onto their most private of areas.
Step 3: You can accomplish your girlyman transformation by watching two hours of Bravo a day for six or seven days running. You don't really have to study any big gay moves. Guys who watch Bravo regularly just start acting gay by osmosis.
Drink: Sex On The Beach if you're not having sex on the beach, then try the Whipplewanger
Music: "Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" or something from our Wet Jukebox
Grub: Whipped Cream Bikinis.